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Days may pass, and no one’s looking at your profile.All of these create a sense of being not good enough.You may simply wish to meet the right person at the right time.

But as older women, we may not feel we can ask a lot of questions of someone we’ve just exchanged a message with online. Speaking up about what we’re looking for is even harder—will we be labeled aggressive?

And when we fall into the trap of seeing ourselves as less appealing than other women, it’s easy to feel grateful to be “found.” That’s a recipe for a bad match.

Here’s why: Your concern about being viewed as “young” or attractive makes you even less willing to speak up about what you want.

They trigger your insecurities about being an older women.

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