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Instead of seeing transparency as a punishment or a hindrance, the addict must come to view it as rock-solid security measure again potential relapse, where relapse would eliminate all chances at personal happiness.

The realm of healthy dating may seem strange for other reasons as well.

Sex addicts use behaviors rather than substances as coping mechanisms.

These might include masturbation, compulsive viewing of pornography, infidelity, one-night stands and a host of other ‘acting out’ practices that undermine the ability to form intimate bonds with another human being.

A valid question to ask, I think, because there are many wives who make this accusation of their husbands who are "constantly wanting to have sex with them".

This article stresses the need for transparency, but only with therapists, 12 step group members, and the like.

With a dismal (and dubiously determined) recovery rate, it should be criminal to support dating efforts with people who have not been fully informed of what the sex addict brings to the table in terms of risk.

This impossible ‘slowness’ that intimacy requires may frustrate and confuse the addict, who no doubt is in a rush to form a relationship after so many months spent healing in celibacy.So if a wife/girlfriend complains that her husband/boyfriend wants sex all the time and is there for a "sex addict", she is wrong?There is no such thing as being a sex addict and expressing it by wanting too much partnered fun and loving sex?However, once in therapy, there inevitably comes a day when the sex addict is ready to embark on that daunting journey we call dating.For a man who has spent years, if not decades, relating to porn actresses on a computer screen, encountering a flesh and blood partner can seem unpredictable and terrifying.




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The interview has been edited for length and clarity.


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