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Upon my arrival at the bar, I immediately regretted it. “Huh, that’s sexy,” he said, taking another sip of his beer.The man who would be my date for the evening was already two drinks in, and he greeted me with an awkward hug. This particular gentleman didn’t turn out to be my soul mate.We walked to a table and the conversation quickly turned to our jobs. He paused with glass in hand and said, “Oh, you’re religious.” I nodded. Yet in a strange way the encounter exemplifies some key elements of the dating scene facing young adults today: We’re trying to be open, to build relationships, to find someone who shares a worldview that reflects similar morals, perspectives, ethics, a desire for growth and, well, other stuff.

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“In a way, I am always looking,” says Rebecca Kania, 28.

The major challenge posed by the dating world today—Catholic or otherwise—is that it is just so hard to define.

Most young adults have abandoned the formal dating scene in favor of an approach that is, paradoxically, both more focused and more fluid than in the past.

’ The community had some social capital, and it allowed you to be comfortable knowing what you would and wouldn’t have to make decisions about.

My mother told me that her biggest worry on a date was what meal she could order so that she still looked pretty eating it.” Today, she says, young adults are bombarded with hyperromantic moments—like viral videos of proposals and over-the-top invitations to the prom—or hypersexualized culture, but there is not much in between.




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